Reflection

09.02.2017

On life, love and closure (mostly closure)

This shall end. This period of stupidity and hopelessness and unrequited determination. This period of endlessly striving for an ideal that doesn’t even exist. This period of blind decisions and spurts of emotions. This period, which has been so painfully memorable yet mortal, shall end.

I know nothing about everything. So I can just brag about the things I know:

I know that I’m good. As a daughter, a friend, an acquaintance, a stranger. At least I try to be.
That I will succeed in anything I put my mind to. At least I keep this faith.
That everything happens for a reason. At least I learn lessons from everything that happens to me.
That things eventually will turn out fine. At least sufferings don’t last, though as well as happiness.
That no one could be the perfect human. At least I haven’t met any.
That the perspective decides the outcome. At least positivity has saved me many times.

“At least” is the expression for moments of desperation, of the last good thing that may exist, of the forced smile we make when we fall. I know what I know, yet I don’t know if I know right.


I wrote this to myself in February, during the post-winter time, when “New Year depression” started to creep in. Looking back, it was definitely a closure to a younger version of myself.

What surprises me is, during the 7 months from February till now, I have even changed more drastically.

2017 is definitely the year of change. A memorable one.

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